I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
