The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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