he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My pussy is not your playground.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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