Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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