walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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