i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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