PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
