Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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