Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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