Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
