Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
