i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
