she woke up with a sticky ear
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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