just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
