Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it glows. i had to have it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
