yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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