so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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