I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
