i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
