i can't believe i had my finger in that
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
