Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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