you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
