I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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