shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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