its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
