nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
