my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
