I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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