I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
