kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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