hotel room ftw
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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