I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
