o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
