if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm jealous of your bromance
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
