i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
