i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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