all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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