Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
