Me. At least after what I've been through.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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