No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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