i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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