Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
