did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
