he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
