If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You can't just leave with hair like that
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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