btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
