Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How naked do you want me to be?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
