Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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