he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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