Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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