it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
this hospital has no fireball
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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