You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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