My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The beers last night were like the tears from god
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
