This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
