that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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