ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
