We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
