did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
