i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Welp...herpes.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
