She said her name was "party"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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