dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Randomize
