whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
