do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
