i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
